It’s Back Already? - theHumm December 2022

By Glenda Jones

When did this happen? Only last week I was getting out the garden tools, revving up the mower and planting some annuals. And now you’re telling me I have to get out the winter gear? Suddenly, it’s colder than… well, you know. I’m wrapping myself in strings of outdoor lights, and cursing the timer that turns the lights on in the day and off at dusk. On the decent November day when I could have done this in comfort, we were tooling around the countryside admiring the fall colour.

Halloween came and went, and BOOM! There’s Christmas on the doorstep. The seasonal magazines are throwing us into the perennial panic mode as if the whole holiday will collapse if everyone isn’t worked to the bone to make it happen. They want everything “done ahead” from the mashed potatoes to the baking frenzy. Well, let’s consider: if everything got “done ahead”, what would you have likely been doing all those weeks ago? Maybe that was the time you planned to clean out the fridge, or do your nails, or find the snow shovels. There are only so many hours in a day, and I think every one was probably earmarked already, so “done ahead” isn’t going to happen.

The same could be said for the snazzy giftwrap you’re meant to create from a cut potato and finger paints. REALLY? Get out the gift bags and the Dollar Store tissue and call it festive — unless you are in charge of a few little kids who want a Grandma craft on a cold afternoon. They could likely whip you up a batch of Christmas cards too, since grandmas are probably the only people still sending those gems through the mail.

Every magazine worth the price will feature a cookie exchange. I recall one year when the exchange did not go well. One of the women was not a candidate for the Great British Baking Show, while the rest of us had worked diligently to create tasty masterpieces. We all had to go home with her offerings destined for the back of the cupboard, while she gained herself plates of very good unique things. The upshot? She had an Open House party, and we all recognized the baking!

Hostess gifts seem to be “de rigeur” according to the magazines. You’re expected to have made Brandied Fruit, or clever assemblages of kitchen tools wrapped in a fancy tea towel, when in actual fact you can just whip into the closest LCBO and buy a bottle of wine. There’s not a hostess anywhere who will turn that down. If I recall the ads in the Food & Drink magazine, that would be their choice of a clever gift as well.

Speaking of those ads, they are designed to lay on a guilt trip from which you can never hope to escape. Have you noticed the ecstatic groups of people, all dressed to the nines? They’re holding glasses of lord-knows-what concoctions rimmed in sugar crystals, as they peruse a table laden with charcuteries of every imaginable kind. Laughing gaily at each other’s bon mots, they while away their holiday evenings carefree of babysitters, dogs that need walking or snowstorms brewing outside. The rest of us are at home in our slippers wishing we could afford a red dress like that. Heck, I’d be happy to have the figure that could wear it, let alone the dress itself. You just know those people are going home in their EV cars that can park themselves.

Now, you’re probably despairing of my Scrooge-like Christmas spirit, but I do have one weakness regarding these magazines. Can you truly say you never rifled through the Sears catalogue as a little kid, picturing yourself playing with the best toys? Have you never imagined yourself in one of those sparkling evening gowns? Have you never wished for a dining room decked out in Christmas décor and fancy china? Of course, we all have. I love the back stories we can invent for the ads. We didn’t have to decorate or bake, so we can enjoy the illusion and turn the page.

Further, I can never get enough of the Christmas stores, especially the greenery and aroma of a plant nursery that pulls out all the stops to decorate. Even shelves of sparkly lights and Christmas balls can give me shivers of delight. Less is not more, MORE is more! Pop up some trees and cover them tip to tail in ribbons and bows, pinecones and decorations, drape the whole thing in tinsel and turn on the little lights, and I’m in Christmas heaven. I’ve crammed boughs and branches into my porch planter, and then put diamond things on it, and then lights, and now I’ve got silver bows to add. I really must quit!

When you’re feeling that you simply can’t take any more of the schmaltzy music or the excess, you need to get outside and meet your neighbours. If you want a real treat, drive around our gorgeous little towns, Almonte in particular, and take in the fabulous displays people work to create. And if on Christmas Eve you are out walking, don’t miss the area around Union Street with “Santa lights” along the street. It’s magic for adults and little kids too excited to sleep on Christmas Eve.

Have a happy Christmas, however you celebrate, and don’t get complacent, because before you know it, you’ll have to put it all away and get ready for spring again. Time flies when you least expect it!

Evgenia Badiyanova — Watercolour Whimsy - theHumm December 2022

By Sally Hansen

Art… and Soul

On her Etsy global marketplace shop, Carleton Place artist Evgenia Badiyanova describes her delightful watercolour art as “Real life with a whimsical twist.” Since whimsical is defined as “Playfully quaint or fanciful, especially in an appealing and amusing way” (wordhippo.com), it is the perfect descriptor. Her artworks are beautifully drawn and painted, and her forte is the humourous twist with which she presents her endearing characters.

Whether i......

It’s Back Already? - theHumm December 2022